Expiration Date

I’m feeling kind of invincible right now! I just ate some salad dressing that expired four years ago. There has been no ill-effects, so far. It’s been at least twenty-four hours. Actually, I had some last week too -now that I think about it. I just didn’t believe it said “Feb 22 ’07”. I was like, “No way!” This time I double checked; it had definitely expired four years ago. The dressing was actually quite good, though! It was blue cheese. I love blue cheese.

So yeah, I’m feeling kind of invincible. There’s been no adverse reaction to the expired food. I might be onto something here. Either blue cheese dressing last longer than any known salad garnish, or the company’s tricking you into throwing it out too soon. Probably the first. I’m sure the FDA wouldn’t give any dairy product a four year shelf-life. Not unless it was super cheese. Someone should patent that. Super cheese. I might be on to something here.

Maybe I am just tripping. That salad dressing expired four years ago. Technically, I could be delirious and seeing things. Eating expired things could do that to you. Isn’t that how ancient people discovered wine? By eating rotten grapes from the ground. Well, we will see. The walls are still spinning painted, purple fractals -like they have always been

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